The Last Dance

The iconic song “Ang Huling El Bimbo” was brought to the musical theater and I got the chance to watch it last night. It was a story about friendship of four college students named Joy, Jay, Emman and Hector. The play revolved around building relationship and how it was tested by a horrible incident. Eventually, this drifted them apart, leaving them with unresolved issues. The only girl among the group, Joy suffered the most. She did not finish college, endured life of poverty, got a child out of wed-lock and struggled hard to sustain their daily means. As how the song Ang Huling El Bimbo ended, “at isang gabi, nasagasaan sa isang madilim na eskinita”, eventually Joy encountered a tragic death.

For it was already one hell of a sobering song, putting it to play is a lot more distressing. The last act was soulful and intense. After 20 years, the boys came over to pay their last respect to Joy. It was the boys’ graduation when they last met and didn’t communicate thereafter. Full of regrets, what ifs and repentance. Sadly, Joy will no longer hear them.

Coping up with the cruelties and struggles that this world brings, we tend to overlooked those who have been with us from the beginning. As we aged, we conquer our own battle. We wasted our time dwelling over material things, fame and success. Consequently, it allowed us to neglect our families and friends, the core who unceasingly supported us. When they depart, regardless of the amount of time that we spent with them, we still wished we had more time. Imagine how painful it will be for someone who failed to do so. Life indeed is short. So this I have to say, make time for friendships and relationships. Don’t wait till its too late.

Dance with them as if it will be the last.

Half Empty, Half Full

Regrets.. Full of it..

For time unspent, for words unspoken, for actions undone.

For days I wasn’t there, for moments I allowed to pass by, for thinking that there will still be tomorrow.

Regrets.. Lack of it..

For spoiling you, for making you happy, for giving you what you deserved.

For taking care of you, for loving you.

Until your last breath.

Twenty Eighteen

Thoughts as another year unfolds

New Year’s Day while on our way back to Manila after the holidays, I asked a loved one why he doesn’t make a list of goals for the New Year. His answer was simple “I don’t want to set expectations and disappoint myself when I fail to achieve it”. Curiously, I asked again, “Then how do you make things happen in your life without planning?” And he immediately answered, “As long as I know what I’m doing and it will take me to what I want to be, I’m good with it, no need to write it down.”

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On the contrary, it has been a tradition for me marking down my plans to kick-off the year. My progress stimulates a sense of excitement as I tick-off my lists every year-end. The regulars usually are my travel goals to as many places as I can, saving up PhpXXX amount, career leap, losing weight and learning something new. My 2017 didn’t fail me except for the losing weight part (LOL). After that conversation, I contemplated for a while. Do I want to change how I do things this year and try doing it spontaneously? Will I ditch listing down my goals/plans for 2018? Eleven days after New Year, I finally decided to stick to what I got used to. Not because I don’t want to take chances and do something new. I do, actually. It’s just that, it works for me so why get rid of it?

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In the era of social media, everything is public, fast-paced, #Goals posted everywhere, associating our lives and achievements from that of others and the end-products are pressure and stress. I too experienced it at some point. More often my goals were patterned after the clamor of the society. Sometimes the intent and purpose doesn’t define me. At that moment, I paused to think what really makes me happy? Who do I really want to become? Then flashes of things that I love doing crossed my mind – fulfillment after reading a good book, writing a blog, going back to running, visiting more heritage houses and museums and as plain as enjoying a cup of coffee during friends meet-up. With that thought, there’s no point in pushing myself too hard. I want to recourse to conventional activities which are less stressful and will make me feel better. I will still navigate but with a purpose of fulfilling the old soul in me and not just for the show-off bucketlist. I will work not for the heck of getting that “title” but because I don’t want an idle mind. I will still spend prudently but scrap setting a specific amount, instead I will save to buy more books and to build a shelf for my stuff. This year, I will take things on my own pace as modestly as I can. With my own definition of contentment.

And for the greater things, I’ll leave it up to 2018 to surprise me!

Continue reading “Twenty Eighteen”

25 LEARNINGS FROM 25 YEARS

Five years ago, I was 25. I wrote this as my mid-life crisis realizations. I thought I was caught up with such predicament and confusion of what do I really want, what will I achieve, who will I become, why love is so painful. But as I aged, being an adult is not a bad thing at all. Now as I start my journey at 30, these questions led me to who Iam today, on what I have and to who’s with me. These lessons guided me and readied me to what life is yet to offer. Not quite, as I still have more to learn and experience but I’m no longer afraid of the future, of love and life.
So to those who are in their 20 something, take your time to read this and hope you’ll write your own too. Happy Adulthood!

25

Five years ago, I was 25. I wrote this as my mid-life crisis realizations. I thought I was caught up with such predicament and confusion of what do I really want, what will I achieve, who will I become, why love is so painful. But as I aged, being an adult is not a bad thing at all. Now as I start my journey at 30, these questions led me to who Iam today, on what I have and to who’s with me. These lessons guided me and readied me to what life is yet to offer. Not quite, as I still have more to learn and experience but I’m no longer afraid of the future, of love and life.
So to those who are in their 20 something, take your time to read this and hope you’ll write your own too. Happy Adulthood!

1. that childhood dreams don’t often come true (but I still wanted to be a sports anchor)

2. that balancing school and play is very essential (best of both worlds)

3. that once you get out of school you’ll miss every bit of it

4. that friends from school often remains your friends till the end

5. that eventually as you age, you’re metabolism will slow down

6. that we need to continuously nurture our mind through reading books

7. to always consult our parents in every decision that we make (it never fails; they know best)

8. to save early and worry-less for the future

9. that no matter how much you earn or where you are now, learn to live simple!

10. to always look back to where you came from and be grateful

11. to thank those who appreciate and accept you for who you are

12. to remove grudges and forgive those from the past

13. that vacation once a year is ubberly important

14. to treasure good memories and always create new ones

15. to age wisely

16. to find time and prioritize your family

17. that we need not to spend our time dwelling on material things and things only meant to stay in this lifetime

18. to avoid remorse and regret – think a thousand times

19. to always keep a child at heart

20. time really is gold, precious and valuable

21. to be content with what God gave you

22. to always PRAY – waking up, before leaving, before meal, before sleeping and with every opportunity you have

23. that first love does die

24. that when destiny leads you to the right person, it will always find a way

25. that loving and serving GOD above all will make you complete